I'm A Hoarder Because of Landfills

Hoarding is something that seems to run in my father's side of the family.
Nearly all of my father's side of the family has some kind of hoarding tendency.
My father and one of my aunts are extreme hoarders. My grandfather will keep anything he thinks may be of use, or could be of use once fixed or given to another. My grandmother is one of the exceptions to this trait, as she really only seems to hold on to things she actually uses. I am at a level between my grandparents. I will hold on to something I can use or donate, often craft items (I will cut up soda and cracker boxes to reuse as paint palettes and I often hold on to packing material) and though my hoarding tendencies have decreased when it comes to retaining something for sentimental reasons, my fear of that certain something finding its way into a landfill to sit for all time, is the biggest reason why I feel such guilt when taking out the trash. It does not help that my complex does not have a separate dumpster for recyclable items, (which is something I might consider bringing to attention). I can't even compost! (They would probably cite me for trying, contributing to the nose pollution and what not. As if the neighbor's frequent pot smoking wasn't bad enough *gag*).

The way to empty the bins is into a black garbage bag, and then into the dumpster, bag and all. As I began my weekly habit of trash duty about the studio I looked at the items I was tossing into the bag and began to wonder if they might serve a higher purpose than meeting their end buried beneath hundreds of other bags in a landfill somewhere. This prompted me to perform a Google search to learn whom else on the planet might empathize with my guilt.
This woman's efforts are truly inspirational:
The Hook - COVER- Two years, two bags: How she makes almost no trash

I live in a tiny place, yet seem to accumulate so much trash for 1-2 people! About 1-2 black bags worth per week. That just seems like far too much. I have a bin with items to donate, and I even have items that I feel I might to able to mend so that I COULD donate them. Sometimes I wonder if I am not too concerned, what with holding on to old, useless things simply so that they do not end up in landfills. Perhaps I need to do even more research to see what I CAN recycle. Many papers I need to shred before I can feel comfortable tossing or recycling them, which is why I have SO much paper work. I've gone paperless on nearly every statement that I have and become frustrated when I receive anything in the mail. I am also concerned about the gift boxes that I send my jewelry orders out in. What are you doing with those little blue and black bow-bedecked boxes? Do you keep your purchases in them? Do you take the cotton out and store other items in them? Remove the anchor and reuse the box for a friend's gift? (I actually wouldn't mind this last option, as I would feel much better that the box has been reused as opposed to just being tossed into the trash. Even if you wanted to send the little anchor and brad BACK in a letter envelope, I would be tickled!) Boxes are the most stable way to send my orders, as they are further packaged into yellow, padded envelopes, which I hope are being reused, even for other orders. Whenever I receive an order in a container or box that I can reuse or a box that contains shipping material, such as bubble wrap or tissue paper, I often save and reuse them to ship my own orders later. How ARE you using those gift boxes, my friends?

Here's a tip: If you want to remove the bow so that you can stack the boxes, I recommend it. Storing your jewelry separately can prevent metal discoloration. I have jewelry (of my own) that was stored among pieces of different metals and they can become discolored, grimy, even worn out! Storing each piece separately, or with other pieces composed of the same metal, can prevent damage.

At any rate, am I the only one who feels so guilty about taking out the trash each week? Does anyone else feel this way?

I was a bit upset to learn that SunChips actually reverted to their original plastic bag because consumers complained that the new compostable was "too noisy". Are you kidding me? Put them in a bowl then! What are you doing to make the bag crinkle so much; sitting on them? Put them in a plastic zip lock bag to save them! Wear ear plugs! Its not the chips, its the bag, so grab your snack and put the bag away, its not difficult. A few moments of loud noise to retrieve your snack is more than worth a step in the right eco-friendly direction! Goodness.

Also a reminder, that you don't need a blogger account to comment. I've been receiving many comments back on my FaceBook page, but I would be thrilled to receive them here as well!

In general, it has been raining for days on end, (our complex parking lot is more like an asphalt swimming hole) and this song suits me to the word.
I've always felt as if it were written for me, but of course, that is not the case.



Cheers and hope for more rain,
Natasha

Inability to Connect

This is going to be a rather raw entry, and may be shoved back in my face at some point, but I am tired of holding it all into myself. I know there is at least one person who both empathizes and sympathizes with me on this subject, though perhaps maybe not quite to the degree of severity to which I experience. Ironically enough, this person happens to be my best friend, my sister if you will (who happens to live 1,010 miles away, give or take).

I have poor social skills, and I was raised with more responsibility than normal children should have. Perhaps it was being raised in a military household, mostly by a single male who ate, slept and breathed responsibility and who raised me to accept said responsibility for my every action in life. I've always been taught that the world owes me nothing and that I must always work hard for what I want or need. It has been said that I take myself too seriously. Perhaps this is why some see me as conceited or self-absorbed. This is not the case, I am merely afraid to make mistakes. I was raised in a home where mistakes were not tolerable. Mistakes were a learning experience followed by consequence and punishment. No action comes without consequence. Perhaps that understanding is yet another reason why I am overly serious, often paranoid and sometimes mildly neurotic. Perhaps these reasons are also why I feel that I cannot relate to my peers.

My peers. With their often carefree attitude of social play, reckless activities and general immaturity. They seldom consider the big picture and barely contemplate the tiny image set before them each day. They rarely see beyond the previous night's drinking binge to this morning's hangover. Only now is the moment that matters.. I live in the big picture and find the little picture to be trivial. The big picture is all that usually matters, all on which I spend my time. Now granted, not every peer is the way I have described above. Many are also concentrated on the big picture, yet still maintain their scope on the here and now. How? This is a balance I envy with my whole heart. Still, I feel a complete inability to truly connect with any of them. It it almost impossible for me to relate to others in a manner that I can take seriously and to be honest and true. There exist, however, a select handful of people for whom an exception exists. Unfortunately, they live about 30 miles away and I rarely see them anymore, but whether at work or out after hours, I always felt a genuine connection to them. Perhaps in that environment, a certain mindset exists that is akin to my own? Perhaps each business has a type of employee who best fits a required personality type? Merely speculation, but it makes sense.

My inability to truly and genuinely connect with people around me leaves me with a social life that exists almost entirely online. What person-to-person interaction there is exists at work, where I feel that most are friendly merely because it is expected in order to maintain a pleasant work environment. Unlike others, I am not prone to false pleasantness. If I do not like or do not connect with a person even in a simple manner, I do not bother trying to feign the niceties. And if they don't like me, why bother? I also find it difficult to enter in meaningless conversation. Gossip, or what pointless things (usually drinking or partying) someone did, what they're going to eat for dinner, who is dating whom, blah, blah, blah, please end it already! Instead, it has also been noticed, I often enter in with some vaguely related fact in which most people have little interest and few even know about! Pardon me for thinking, please, really, I just shouldn't bother. Clearly, intellectual thought is just too much for the general populace. I've never seen a purpose in putting effort into skin-deep acquaintances, and I cannot be the only one that feels that way..

Perhaps, my constant over burden of responsibility and 'taking myself too seriously' has affected my ability to properly connect with those around me. Or perhaps, people here at "my level" (whatever level that may be) are simply scarce or in hiding.. Whatever the case, I am becoming increasingly bothered with my complete inability to form deep, meaningful, intellectual human connections. You just can't have that bond with pixels.. I just can't help wondering what impression people really take from me..

Bassnectar - Timestretch (West Coast Lo Fi Remix) (Official)

Blinding